cutthroatpixie | [Fic] Waking Up in... Florida?

Title: Waking Up in...Florida?
Author:

cutthroatpixie
Character(s) or Pairing(s): Fem!Spain/Romano, with brief, nameless mentions of Fem!Portugal
Rating: PG-13 because I rate everything I'm unsure about PG-13
Warnings: Drnk
Summary: When Antonia's family had invited Lovino to come with them to the Florida Keys for summer vacation, he hadn't thought anything of it.
Notes: This is for

counterheist, who requested "femSpain and Romano wake up hungover and married". When you Google "where can I get married without waiting", Florida comes up first after Vegas so huzzah that is what is going down here, man.

When Antonia's family had invited Lovino to come with them to the Florida Keys for summer vacation, he hadn't thought anything of it. It was his first summer after starting university, and he sure as hell didn't want to go home after being free from Nonno and Feliciano for so many months. He'd been more than a little peeved when he realised this was America and his 18-year-old self couldn't drink, but Antonia was 21, Antonia was his best friend, and Antonia had no qualms buying alcohol for "minors" and bringing it back to their hotel room to drink while her mother and older sister went out for the evening.

He hadn't thought anything of it, but he probably should have, because the last thing he remembered from the night before was scowling at Antonia while saying, "This isn't Vegas, moron," and now he was waking up to somebody's phone blaring some nonsense Spanish song (he could understand it, but anything Antonia listened to was still utter nonsense), he was naked, there was an obnoxiously huge, ridiculously fake diamond ring on his finger, and Antonia was cuddling a piece of paper...?

"That better not be a marriage license, Antonia."

No response.

"Well it better not be real."

A most lady-like snore.

"...I'm not wearing this ring, you insane bitch."

That finally did the trick.

"But Lovi!" Lovino didn't think it was possible for somebody as dead asleep as Antonia to wake up, jerk around, and grab his wrist quite as fast as she did, but what did he know? He'd apparently gotten drunk-married in Florida. "I bought that just for you! And the nice lady who filled out our paperwork said it was very becoming of you."

"Somebody actually filled out paperwork?! Is that even legal?"

Antonia looked at him as if he had three heads. "I don't think she would have given us the marriage license if it wasn't, Lovi. That wouldn't make any sense at all." Antonia rolled over onto him, and it wasn't until he was attempting to shove her off that he realised all his missing clothes were on her for some reason. Huh.

"Where are your clothes?" Did he even want to know?

"Aw, I can't believe you lost them! I really liked that dress."

"I can't believe you let me get married to you while I was drunk, but I guess this shit happens."

"You're the one who aske-- my dress!" Suddenly Antonia was lunging at his foot, the foot that her dress was apparently wrapped around. His trousers didn't exactly fit around her waist, and combined with the fact that Antonia apparently had decided to forgo underwear meant that Lovino was insanely glad they had yet to hear from Antonia's family.

He looked up when the door let out the dreaded beep that let everyone know somebody had put the correct keycard in the door.

"...I told Mamá she shouldn't have let you two have your own room."

So much for that.