[Fic] Waking Up in... Florida?

[cutthroatpixie]

Title: Waking Up in...Florida?
Author: cutthroatpixie
Character(s) or Pairing(s): Fem!Spain/Romano, with brief, nameless mentions of Fem!Portugal
Rating: PG-13 because I rate everything I'm unsure about PG-13
Warnings: Drnk
Summary: When Antonia's family had invited Lovino to come with them to the Florida Keys for summer vacation, he hadn't thought anything of it.
Notes: This is for counterheist, who requested "femSpain and Romano wake up hungover and married". When you Google "where can I get married without waiting", Florida comes up first after Vegas so huzzah that is what is going down here, man.

When Antonia's family had invited Lovino to come with them to the Florida Keys for summer vacation, he hadn't thought anything of it. It was his first summer after starting university, and he sure as hell didn't want to go home after being free from Nonno and Feliciano for so many months. He'd been more than a little peeved when he realised this was America and his 18-year-old self couldn't drink, but Antonia was 21, Antonia was his best friend, and Antonia had no qualms buying alcohol for "minors" and bringing it back to their hotel room to drink while her mother and older sister went out for the evening.

He hadn't thought anything of it, but he probably should have, because the last thing he remembered from the night before was scowling at Antonia while saying, "This isn't Vegas, moron," and now he was waking up to somebody's phone blaring some nonsense Spanish song (he could understand it, but anything Antonia listened to was still utter nonsense), he was naked, there was an obnoxiously huge, ridiculously fake diamond ring on his finger, and Antonia was cuddling a piece of paper...?

"That better not be a marriage license, Antonia."

No response.

"Well it better not be real."

A most lady-like snore.

"...I'm not wearing this ring, you insane bitch."

That finally did the trick.

"But Lovi!" Lovino didn't think it was possible for somebody as dead asleep as Antonia to wake up, jerk around, and grab his wrist quite as fast as she did, but what did he know? He'd apparently gotten drunk-married in Florida. "I bought that just for you! And the nice lady who filled out our paperwork said it was very becoming of you."

"Somebody actually filled out paperwork?! Is that even legal?"

Antonia looked at him as if he had three heads. "I don't think she would have given us the marriage license if it wasn't, Lovi. That wouldn't make any sense at all." Antonia rolled over onto him, and it wasn't until he was attempting to shove her off that he realised all his missing clothes were on her for some reason. Huh.

"Where are your clothes?" Did he even want to know?

"Aw, I can't believe you lost them! I really liked that dress."

"I can't believe you let me get married to you while I was drunk, but I guess this shit happens."

"You're the one who aske-- my dress!" Suddenly Antonia was lunging at his foot, the foot that her dress was apparently wrapped around. His trousers didn't exactly fit around her waist, and combined with the fact that Antonia apparently had decided to forgo underwear meant that Lovino was insanely glad they had yet to hear from Antonia's family.

He looked up when the door let out the dreaded beep that let everyone know somebody had put the correct keycard in the door.

"...I told Mamá she shouldn't have let you two have your own room."

So much for that.

Comments

[charlzway.livejournal.com]

"Antonia looked at him as if he had three heads."

/giggle-snorts on drink

dammit.

This was hilarious. And oh dear the ending, lol.

[cutthroatpixie.livejournal.com]

Lovino and Antonia's naked bum just can't catch a break, man. Not at all.

Thanks for reading lulz XD

[charlzway.livejournal.com]

It's like the whole world's conspiring to catch them butt-nekkid all the time and make their lives miserable. Or at least Romano's.

You're welcome xD

[cutthroatpixie.livejournal.com]

Most Romano's. The whole world is conspiring to catch Antonia butt-nekkid, but not in order to make her life miserable. More to make their lives more grand.

[easterly.livejournal.com]

i shouldn't have read this in physics class because "...I'm not wearing this ring, you insane bitch. made me laugh so hard. my teacher is just like "wtf" and ffffffff-

[cutthroatpixie.livejournal.com]

They may have gotten drunk-married and Antonia may have the written proof of such, but there is no way in hell he's wearing such a gaudy ring. So not fashionable. Pffft. XD

[counterheist.livejournal.com]

BUT I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!

If Romano asked, why is he the one wearing the engagement ring? How did Antonia get his pants on? How did they get on the topic of marriage? Who was their witness? What happens next?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??????

That is to say, thank you. :) ♥

[cutthroatpixie.livejournal.com]

Antonia's mother cries and hugs them and welcomes Lovino to the family and then slaps him upside the head for not getting her baby girl a nice ring when Antonia got him the prettiest princess ring ever ever.

Romano would also like the answer to all of these questions!!! It's such a mystery, man.

You're welcome ♥

[counterheist.livejournal.com]

And how does Lovino's family react?

[cutthroatpixie.livejournal.com]

Nonno is just so glad Lovino got married first. At all. And to somebody so pretty, such a plus.

[counterheist.livejournal.com]

But nonno, how could someone with such a sparkling princess personality not get married?!?! He had nothing to worry about, obviously.

[cutthroatpixie.livejournal.com]

Nonno didn't know he had nothing to worry about. He's a little slow sometimes. But clearly Lovino and Antonia were meant to live together in wedded bliss with matching sparkly, pretty pretty rings forever and ever.

[counterheist.livejournal.com]

Clearly. And now Nonno has an excuse to get out the baby pictures again because Antonia definitely hasn't seen them eight times and a good wife should have seen them at least nine! And now he can start knitting little mini hats for grandchildren again!

[cutthroatpixie.livejournal.com]

And he's going to get grandchildren again, Antonia never really did quite get the concept of birth control down.

[counterheist.livejournal.com]

Lovino's going to be the prettiest teen dad ever.

[cutthroatpixie.livejournal.com]

And he'll work so hard at that coffee shop near his school so all his pretty pretty children can wear pretty pretty stylish Italian clothes

[counterheist.livejournal.com]

Things will get tough when Antonia tries to put them in not as pretty Spanish clothes, but eventually they'll sort it out. That's how strong their love is.

[cutthroatpixie.livejournal.com]

It'll be a major hurdle in their otherwise totally normal and not at all dysfunctional lives, man.

[counterheist.livejournal.com]

Not at all dysfunctional.

[cutthroatpixie.livejournal.com]

Their children are going to be so good looking.

[counterheist.livejournal.com]

unf unf unf

[cutthroatpixie.livejournal.com]

This is why Lovino has a gun.

[charlzway.livejournal.com]

.... so is the sequel being written out right now in the comments section itself?

/shot for random thread-jackin'


/flees like the wind

[cutthroatpixie.livejournal.com]

To be fair, this is what typically happens in both our comments sections when the other is involved

[counterheist.livejournal.com]