cutthroatpixie (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
cutthroatpixie) wrote2008-07-01 06:03 pm
cutthroatpixie) wrote2008-07-01 06:03 pm
Entry tags:
Fic: The Black Brothers are Poofters
Title: The Black Brothers are Poofters
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Barty Crouch Jr/Regulus Black
Word Count: 955
Rating: PG-13
Note: Written foroh_so_emily , who said Anything you can think of with the lovely title "The Black Brothers are Both Poofters". There is also a lovely picture attached to this, to aid in the reading experience.
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Barty Crouch Jr/Regulus Black
Word Count: 955
Rating: PG-13
Note: Written for
oh_so_emily , who said Anything you can think of with the lovely title "The Black Brothers are Both Poofters". There is also a lovely picture attached to this, to aid in the reading experience. Their brilliant plan to raid the Slytherin common room had gone horribly, horribly wrong, and James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter were ('Once again,' Remus thought with an aggravated sigh) serving detention late the following night with Professor McGonagall.
'You are lucky I was the one who caught you,' she told them sternly.
Sirius threw a paper airplane at Remus, who glared at him. He was so very much not amused right now. McGonagall cast Sirius a glare of her own.
'As part of your punishment,' she began. 'You will all be writing me an essay listing all the reasons what you did was one of the dumbest things you've ever done.'
Remus heard a chorus of groans all around him. He rolled his eyes. 'Why do we have to write an essay?' Peter asked, scowling.
'Because, clearly, detention does nothing for you. I will be expecting your essays by the end of the week.'
---
James sat next to Remus at breakfast that morning, and when Sirius was otherwise occupied, leaned close to Remus' ear and whispered, 'Pete and me will give you 10 galleons if you write a different essay than we've been assigned.' Remus glanced over at Peter and James, who were wearing equally mischievous expressions, and sighed.
'What do you want me to write?'
'An essay about how Sirius and his brother are poofs,' James said, after making sure Sirius still wasn't paying attention to them.
Remus couldn't help but laugh. 'Yeah, alright. Just you wait, it'll be brilliant.'
'It better be.'
---
Remus sat in the common room that night, parchment, ink, and quill ready. He thought for a moment before titling the essay, a grin on his face.
The Black Brothers are Poofters
An Essay by Remus J Lupin
He set the quill down, racking his brain for how to go about this paper. It was going to be ridiculous, that was for sure, and McGonagall would not approve, but it was sure to be fun. Besides, any punishment he received for it would probably be given to the others as well, even Sirius.
Sudden inspiration struck a few minutes later, and he began to write.
Here at Hogwarts, there exist two brothers by the name of Sirius and Regulus Black. Though, upon first glance, they may not appear to be, they are poofters of the enormous kind, in every way possible, despite the fact that others may tell you otherwise.
---
After two days and several revisions, Remus' essay was complete. He set it down on a table in the common room, letting it dry before he rolled it up and placed it in his bag.
Sirius chose that moment to put a cup of tea down on the table, not bothering to look and see where he was putting it.
'Sirius!' Remus said, quickly picking up the cup and setting it down next to the paper before snatching the paper up. 'This is my paper for McGonagall!'
'Oh...' Sirius looked a bit bewildered by Remus' outburst, but he just shrugged. 'You're actually writing one?'
Remus checked to make sure the ink was dry, then rolling it up and tying some string around it. He put it in his bag and stood up. 'I'm going to lunch now, you coming?'
Sirius nodded enthusiastically and followed after Remus.
---
Barty Crouch Jr. was about to exit the Great Hall, when something falling out of Remus Lupin's bag caught his eye. He was going to just ignore it, but his curiosity got the better of him, and once Lupin and his friends had cleared out, he went to pick it up. It was a scroll, rolled and tied together with a simple piece of thread. He untied and opened it, grinning wickedly at what he saw. He skimmed the essay quickly, and then got an idea.
'I think this paper needs a few improvements,' he mumbled to himself. He laughed a bit as he rolled it up once more, and then headed off to the Slytherin dorms to follow out with his plan.
---
'Are you sure you haven't seen it?'
'Are you sure you actually wrote it?'
Remus scowled. 'Yes, I did, I just can't find it anywhere, and I need to go give it to McGonagall right now.'
'This it?' Peter held up a familiar scroll. 'It was under Sirius' bed.'
Remus and James both looked from the scroll to Sirius' bed, wide eyed. 'You don't think he read it, do you?' Remus asked.
'Probably not, you might have just dropped it,' James said.
'Hopefully...' Remus tucked the scroll safely back into his bag and set off to turn it in.
---
Professor McGonagall unrolled the scroll Remus had given her later that night. It was the only one she had received, which was not all that surprising. She pushed her glasses up her nose a bit, and began reading.
And then she stopped when her eyes fell on all the margin notes and stick figured littering the paper. With more than a little confusion, she started to read the paper again, attempting to ignore the green writing littering the margins.
She sighed when she finished, rubbing the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger. 'Well, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, considering who he hangs around,' she muttered to herself. She picked up her quill, dipped it in her preferred dark purple ink, and began writing Remus a note at the bottom of the parchment.
As an afterthought, she grinned a bit and added an E to the top of the paper.
It was a well-written essay, after all.
'You are lucky I was the one who caught you,' she told them sternly.
Sirius threw a paper airplane at Remus, who glared at him. He was so very much not amused right now. McGonagall cast Sirius a glare of her own.
'As part of your punishment,' she began. 'You will all be writing me an essay listing all the reasons what you did was one of the dumbest things you've ever done.'
Remus heard a chorus of groans all around him. He rolled his eyes. 'Why do we have to write an essay?' Peter asked, scowling.
'Because, clearly, detention does nothing for you. I will be expecting your essays by the end of the week.'
---
James sat next to Remus at breakfast that morning, and when Sirius was otherwise occupied, leaned close to Remus' ear and whispered, 'Pete and me will give you 10 galleons if you write a different essay than we've been assigned.' Remus glanced over at Peter and James, who were wearing equally mischievous expressions, and sighed.
'What do you want me to write?'
'An essay about how Sirius and his brother are poofs,' James said, after making sure Sirius still wasn't paying attention to them.
Remus couldn't help but laugh. 'Yeah, alright. Just you wait, it'll be brilliant.'
'It better be.'
---
Remus sat in the common room that night, parchment, ink, and quill ready. He thought for a moment before titling the essay, a grin on his face.
The Black Brothers are Poofters
An Essay by Remus J Lupin
He set the quill down, racking his brain for how to go about this paper. It was going to be ridiculous, that was for sure, and McGonagall would not approve, but it was sure to be fun. Besides, any punishment he received for it would probably be given to the others as well, even Sirius.
Sudden inspiration struck a few minutes later, and he began to write.
Here at Hogwarts, there exist two brothers by the name of Sirius and Regulus Black. Though, upon first glance, they may not appear to be, they are poofters of the enormous kind, in every way possible, despite the fact that others may tell you otherwise.
---
After two days and several revisions, Remus' essay was complete. He set it down on a table in the common room, letting it dry before he rolled it up and placed it in his bag.
Sirius chose that moment to put a cup of tea down on the table, not bothering to look and see where he was putting it.
'Sirius!' Remus said, quickly picking up the cup and setting it down next to the paper before snatching the paper up. 'This is my paper for McGonagall!'
'Oh...' Sirius looked a bit bewildered by Remus' outburst, but he just shrugged. 'You're actually writing one?'
Remus checked to make sure the ink was dry, then rolling it up and tying some string around it. He put it in his bag and stood up. 'I'm going to lunch now, you coming?'
Sirius nodded enthusiastically and followed after Remus.
---
Barty Crouch Jr. was about to exit the Great Hall, when something falling out of Remus Lupin's bag caught his eye. He was going to just ignore it, but his curiosity got the better of him, and once Lupin and his friends had cleared out, he went to pick it up. It was a scroll, rolled and tied together with a simple piece of thread. He untied and opened it, grinning wickedly at what he saw. He skimmed the essay quickly, and then got an idea.
'I think this paper needs a few improvements,' he mumbled to himself. He laughed a bit as he rolled it up once more, and then headed off to the Slytherin dorms to follow out with his plan.
---
'Are you sure you haven't seen it?'
'Are you sure you actually wrote it?'
Remus scowled. 'Yes, I did, I just can't find it anywhere, and I need to go give it to McGonagall right now.'
'This it?' Peter held up a familiar scroll. 'It was under Sirius' bed.'
Remus and James both looked from the scroll to Sirius' bed, wide eyed. 'You don't think he read it, do you?' Remus asked.
'Probably not, you might have just dropped it,' James said.
'Hopefully...' Remus tucked the scroll safely back into his bag and set off to turn it in.
---
Professor McGonagall unrolled the scroll Remus had given her later that night. It was the only one she had received, which was not all that surprising. She pushed her glasses up her nose a bit, and began reading.
And then she stopped when her eyes fell on all the margin notes and stick figured littering the paper. With more than a little confusion, she started to read the paper again, attempting to ignore the green writing littering the margins.
She sighed when she finished, rubbing the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger. 'Well, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised, considering who he hangs around,' she muttered to herself. She picked up her quill, dipped it in her preferred dark purple ink, and began writing Remus a note at the bottom of the parchment.
As an afterthought, she grinned a bit and added an E to the top of the paper.
It was a well-written essay, after all.