cutthroatpixie: (romano- tomato)
[personal profile] cutthroatpixie
Title: Festa del Papà, Día del Padre
Author: [livejournal.com profile] cutthroatpixie
Character(s) or Pairing(s): Romano/Fem!Romano/Spain/Fem!Spain, mentions of Grandpa Rome
Rating: PG
Warnings: Bad fashion
Summary: Nonno knows how to celebrate a first Father's Day in style. Or not. Part of the Six in One-verse.
Notes: Lovina is only about 2-3 months pregnant in this. Father's Day is March 19th in Italy and Spain. But it is today for me. So I am posting this today. And not in March. Happy Father's Day!

It was a clear, cool day in March and Romano was taking a break from work to stop back off at the house and check something Antonia had put in their slow cooker earlier that morning. Romano was a little wary of leaving kitchen appliances on all day, but Antonia insisted, Antonio reassured him it was okay, and Lovina told him to stop whining so he guessed it was fine.

"If this thing burns down the house, nobody is allowed in my new one," he mumbled to himself while stirring the chicken and chorizo stew that was bubbling away within the seemingly innocent demon appliance. He looked at the heat dial (which was set on low), then checked the cord, and he was just in the process of moving some stray dishes out of the thing's path when the doorbell rang.

Romano went to the door, casting one last glance at the slow cooker. When he opened it, two large boxes were immediately shoved into his arms. "What the fu– oh. Thanks." Realising it was just the mailman, he awkwardly tried to wave at the man while holding the two very large, very heavy packages in his arms.

"Have a nice day, Mr. Vargas."

"Mph. You too."

He set the boxes down by the door, careful not to drop them, lest something important (for him) be inside. The labels listed Romolo Vargas as the sender, Romano as the recipient of one, and Antonio of the other. "What the hell is Nonno sending us now?"

New Dad and Baby

"What the hell is this." After ripping open his own package, a brightly coloured envelope was the first thing to appear atop all the bubble wrap and tissue paper. Figuring some sort of explanation was always a good idea when getting things from Nonno, Romano opened that first.

A First Father’s Day Comparison

Underneath the header of the card were two columns– one with a picture of Romano, one with a copy of an ultrasound that had little paper hearts pasted onto it, as well as a small, drawn-in line that appeared to mimic the flyaway curl atop Romano's own head.

"What the fuck." Glad that the image clearly wasn't an original copy of anything, because Lovina would have killed him (not Nonno, just him), Romano continued reading. Beneath both images were near-matching lists.

Needs constant attention

"I do not," Romano said to no one in particular. He wasn't going to deny it about the baby, though. If Lovina's constant demands were anything to go by, that kid definitely needed constant attention.

Makes messes

Romano quickly gathered up the ripped envelope on the floor and stuffed it in the small trashcan by their front door.

Won't give up the remote said one side, Won't give up the blankie said the other.

"Antonio is the one who won't give up the blankets." Romano was well-aware he was talking to himself. Romano didn't give a shit.

Needs round-the-clock feeding

"More like Lovina needs round-the-clock feeding."

...Romano was glad nobody else was around right now.

Fond of mommy's chest

Snorting as he read the last (and only true) statement on the card, Romano opened it to reveal a short note in Nonno's careful, overly flowery handwriting.

Romano!

Nonno is so proud of you and Antonio for having working parts, so proud. I saw this card and thought of you, I hope it makes you laugh too.

xoxo,
Nonno


"Fucking crazy old man." Romano put the card back in the box and gathered up both packages, intending to take them back over to the café, since Lovina would be calling him soon if he didn't get his ass back over there.

Lovina never did call, but he got a stern, "What the hell took you so long?" when he entered the shop fifteen minutes later carrying the packages with him. "What are those?"

"Nonno sent me and Antonio Father’s Day gifts." He set them on the counter and stretched his arms out, glad to be free of such a heavy burden. Nonno had sent them bricks or something, he was sure of it.

Lovina, because she was Lovina and did shit like that, immediately started going through Romano's already opened box. "Oh shit," she said excitedly. "You have to wear this." From the mass of packaging material, Lovina pulled out a pastel yellow tie that was covered in bottles, pacifiers, strollers, and other obviously baby-related images. "Put it on right now."

Romano gave her a disgusting look and snatched the tie away, trying to shove it back in the box before any of the customers saw. "No. Absolutely not."

"But don't you want to," Lovina picked up a little sticky note that had apparently been attached to the monstrosity. "'Proclaim your impending fatherhood'? You don't want anyone thinking you're not a proud daddy, Romano."

"Lovina shut up. I'm not wearing it."

"Not wearing what?" It was apparently that time of day, because Antonio entered the shop just as Lovina was holding up the tie to Romano's neck. "Awww, where'd you get that Roma, it's so cute!"

"It's not cute," Romano replied.

"Nonno sent it," Lovina added. "Stop struggling Romano, yellow looks plenty good with your pink shirt."

"It doesn't, you whackjob."

A few unfortunate minutes later, Romano was wearing the tie. Only because he wasn't a horrible person who was going to kick Lovina's ass, though, he totally could have fought her off if he wanted to.

"Can I take this off y–"

"I got one too!" Antonio triumphantly revealed a matching tie, this one in a soft green, and he immediately handed it to Lovina once she was done taking a drink order (they were still supposed to be working, after all). "Put mine on too!"

Romano scowled at a man who wasn't even bothering to hide his laughter at the ridiculous ties. "I could spit in your drink, you know." Laughing Man just kept on chuckling. What a dick.

Once their line of customers had died down, the three of them went back to rummaging through the packages. Baby name books, instruction guides for new fathers, paint swatches (for the nursery a helpful sticky note pointed out), and a quickly hidden guide to having sex while pregnant were all pulled from the box one by one.

"Nonno is fucking nuts."

"We know that," Lovina said. She pulled back the final layer of bubble wrap in Romano's box. "Oh look, story books. Romano can finally learn how to read."

"...Romano doesn't know how to read?!"

Romano rolled his eyes and tossed some tissue paper at Antonio's face. "I know how to read, moron. These were mine as a kid, though."

"Aw. I'll have to see if my mom has any of my old story books too!"

"My mom gave all of our books to Feli awhile ago. Thought the chances of me getting knocked up before her weren't as high." Romano snorted at Lovina's statement and watched as Antonio pulled out a few toys from his own box.

"I'm sure we'll have enough shit from Nonno."

Antonio packed all the gifts away in their boxes and put them in the storage room, reminding Lovina and Romano a million times as he did so to make sure and remind him to take them home later.

"I don't want to forget them."

"You won't."

"Just making sure!"

"Antonio, go make this drink." Lovina shoved a cup at Antonio and he quickly set about doing what he was told.

Romano gathered up a few dirty cups and started washing them while Lovina continued to take orders. "Can I take this off y–"

"No."

"Ugh. I'm going to get you back for this."

"No you won't. Happy Father’s Day."

Romano just scowled at her.

He scowled more when Antonia came into the shop a few hours later, the first thing out of her mouth after her typical greeting being, "Oooh, you got matching ties, you both look so cute!"

Romano just hoped any subsequent Father’s Days did not involve atrocious ties, he sincerely hoped that with all his heart.

---

This is the card Nonno sent, if anyone wanted to see.

Date: 2012-06-18 07:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] counterheist.livejournal.com
for some reason i got it into my head that this was going to be about antonia, and now i am a little saddened

but only a little because the rest of it was adorable and hilarious

ROMANO CAN'T READ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Date: 2012-06-18 07:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cutthroatpixie.livejournal.com
I was going to write it about antonia and then I saw that card and I was like AHHHHH ROMANO and wrote this instead

¡NO PUEDE LEER!

Date: 2012-06-18 07:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] counterheist.livejournal.com
i'm always happy about romano+rome interactions though, ahhhhh nonno.

Date: 2012-06-18 07:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cutthroatpixie.livejournal.com
he's so proud at least one of them has working parts. so fucking proud.

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