cutthroatpixie: (romano- CLASSY LADY)
[personal profile] cutthroatpixie
This is a clusterfuck of all the random shit I keep writing over at Tumblr and also in comments on LJ. Some are short because they were written in the ask box, others are longer, but I don't think any of them warrant their own individual posts, so here they are. Let me know if you see any typos, I'm awful at catching those.

Title: Background Noise
Character(s) or Pairing(s): Mentions of Romano/Fem!Romano/Spain/Fem!Spain (we all know it's there), OCs
Rating: PG
Warnings: OCs, polyamory, ridic people being ridic
Summary: They didn't like the way some employee was always flirting with Lovina.
Note: This and the next one are the random old couple from Tunnel Vision. They make me giggle.

Marshall and Linda Collins-Shaw were a simple couple, with simple, traditional views on life. They’d spent most of their married life doing normal, married couple things back home in England, and now they had retired to sunny Spain for a change of pace and an easy, relaxing life, free from the hustle and bustle of working and raising children. They’d quickly settled into a routine, one that involved going to a recently opened, adorable little café run by a hard-working, if… boisterous, young couple.

A young couple that appeared to be having problems, even if nobody but the Collins-Shaws seemed to be noticing it.

“I don’t like the way that employee of theirs is always flirting with her.” Linda cast a glare in the employee’s, Antonio or something like that, direction, turning her nose up when he met her eye and smiled. The nerve of some people. “Doesn’t he know she’s married?”

“Doesn’t she?” her husband added, both turning to watch as Antonio kissed Lovina on the cheek and she did nothing about it, aside from tell him to hurry up and get her more coffee filters from the back.
And then slap his behind when he apparently didn’t move fast enough for her liking.


“And in public, how obscene. Do they think they won’t get caught?”

“Poor Romano.”

When Lovina rolled her eyes in their direction, they felt that was definitely a confirmation of their suspicions.

Title: Bum Slaps
Character(s) or Pairing(s): Mentions of Romano/Fem!Romano/Spain/Fem!Spain (we all know it's there), OCs
Rating: PG
Warnings: OCs, polyamory, ridic people being ridic
Summary: Linda was by no means a nosy woman

Linda was by no means a nosy woman (in her own opinion), and she knew very well when to leave people be, thank you very much, but day in and day out, she watched as poor, dear Romano failed to notice his pregnant wife was clearly cheating on him (was the baby even his, Linda often wondered, the scandal of it all!). She’d had quite enough of it, too, and had decided to talk to the young man on a day when said wife wasn’t at work. Those days were few and far between, especially during the times Linda and her husband frequented the café, but one such occasion finally presented itself, and she quickly made her way to the counter Romano was busy wiping down.

“Excuse me,” she said, giving him a sympathetic look.

“Yeah? What is i—” a crash sounded from the store room and Romano scowled. “Hold on one second.” Without another word, he quickly stormed off into the back.

“Stop fucking up my inventory and go make drinks for awhile.” Antonio was the first to appear back through the door, following closely by Romano.

“But Roma,” Antonio whined. Linda glared at him, for good measure, because how dare he appear and spoil her plans.

Romano further spoiled them when he slapped Antonio’s bum, the same way she’d seen Lovina do so many times. “Just do what I say for once, goddamnit.”

Well then.

Title: Equipoise
Character(s) or Pairing(s): Mentions of Romano/Fem!Romano/Spain/Fem!Spain, Fem!France
Rating: PG
Warnings: polyamory, Francine is a creeper
Summary: Not everyone understood their relationship, but Francine did, because Francine saw the things others refused to.

Francine had always had a love of people watching, especially of couple watching, because she loved to watch how people worked around one another, with one another, against one another. She watched for years as Antonia and Romano danced around one another, starting as just neighbours and becoming friends and then eventually much, much more than friends.

She watched the instant chemistry between Antonio and Antonia when she introduced them for the first time, watched the slump in Romano’s shoulders whenever Antonia talked about him. Watched the blush on his face when Antonio talked to him, and the way Antonio’s eyes always lingered on him a little too long. She saw all of Antonio’s smiles, and how he lit right up when talking to Antonia, but also when talking to Romano, but most of all when he was with them both.

Francine hadn’t been around much when they first met Lovina, but even a few short meetings were enough to see how well she fit with the other three. Nobody would have been able to tell she hadn’t known this small group her entire life, save the glances exchanged between her and Antonio whenever some reference to Antonia and Romano’s teenage years was made.

She’d heard all the whispers, of course, heard the angry conversations Lovina had on the phone, trying to explain that no, she wasn’t just going to pick one of them and get married like a “normal girl”, the questions from their school friends wondering when Antonia and Romano were going to stop this little faze they were in and just get married like everyone thought they should. But Francine knew, because of everything she saw, that while yes, they all hadn’t known one another as long, and sometimes they all did things in pairs instead of all together, that there really was no way to cleanly split them up, because what Antonia had with Romano was just as important as what she had with Lovina and Antonio, what Antonio had with Romano and Lovina, what Lovina had with Romano.

Theirs was by no means a normal relationship, but taking any one of them out of it or trying to pair off for the sake of being socially acceptable would throw things off entirely. Francine saw that clear as day.

Title: Things Alejandro Knows
Character(s) or Pairing(s): Mentions of Romano/Fem!Romano/Spain/Fem!Spain (we all know it's there), OC kid
Rating: G
Warnings: Kidfic, polyamory
Summary: Alejandro may have only been five years old, but he knew a lot of things about life.

Alejandro Fernández Vargas Vella Hernández (trying saying that ten times fast) may have only been five years old, but he knew a lot of things about life. He knew how to clean out an espresso machine and how to bandage up those pesky wounds between fingers. He knew people didn't like to be told to wait their turn, but that waiting was just something everyone had to get used to eventually. He knew to never, ever listen to anything Aunty Francine said because she was "a crazy bitch, and don't you dare repeat what I just said." He knew many, many things, but most of all he knew that he was a very lucky little boy-- because he had four parents, the very best parents, and other kids only had one or two, so when people asked him if it was weird or when teachers gave him funny looks, he knew it was just because they were jealous they didn't have so many people to tuck them in at night.

Title: April Fool's Day
Character(s) or Pairing(s): Romano/Fem!Romano/Spain/Fem!Spain
Rating: PG-13 I think you have to rate movies that way if you use the fuck word.
Warnings: polyamory I think you get the point by now
Summary: Romano really hates his significant others sometimes.

The evening of March 31st finds Romano seated at the kitchen table of his brand new house, a bottle of celebratory limoncello and the house's other three owners sitting all around him.

The clock strikes midnight but Romano doesn't pay it any mind, because Lovina's poured him another shot and Antonia's laughing at him and telling him to slow it down, but fuck that, because they are homeowners now and if he wants to celebrate by drinking the whole bottle, he fucking will.

(only he fucking won't, because Romano rather likes not being dead, thank you very much)

"Antonio," he slurs. In a manly fashion, because Romano only slurs like a very manly man, and not like a drunken teenager like Antonia does. "Why're you not?"

"Not?" Antonio asks, looking up from his glass.

"Not drinking," he responds. Maybe he forgot some words before, but Antonio should just understand him, goddamnit.

Antonio glances at Antonia, who glances at Lovina, who sighs and pats Romano on the arm. Romano flinches before he realises she hasn't actually hit him.

"There's something Antonio needs to tell you," she says, face suddenly deadly serious.

"You might want to sit down," Antonia adds, and Lovina gives her That Look because Romano is already sitting down, Antonia, he has been for awhile.

"Um. Okay." Suddenly Romano is very worried, or maybe he's just had too much to drink and he's wobbly, but everyone looks so serious when he can actually focus on their faces and maybe it's just that Antonio has work in the morning and they're all being overdramatic again. Because they all do that a lot, Romano is never the overdramatic one.

"I'm pregnant," Antonio says, serious as a seizure, and Romano isn't given a proper chance to respond because all he gets out is, "Holy shit," before he's slumping out of his chair in a dead faint.

Title: Butchering Garlic
Character(s) or Pairing(s): Romano/Fem!Romano/Spain/Fem!Spain
Rating: PG
Warnings: onions
Summary: Antonio loves it when they all make dinner together

Antonio loves it when they all make dinner together, though it hasn’t been happening much lately. Antonia’s been working nights a lot more the past few weeks, something she whines about a lot because, “All the kids are asleep and I miss you guys!”, Romano has taken to coming home from his job as a waiter, saying he’s already eaten, and going straight to bed in a huff, and even though Lovina doesn’t have any night classes, she’s more likely to just want to order pizza and pair it with a bottle or two of wine after dealing with lectures all day. It is a Saturday, though, a blessedly rare Saturday where none of them have work or school or homework they can’t put off until later, and Antonio has prepared for this glorious day by buying all the ingredients to make a lasagne, because Antonio loves it when they make lasagne together.

“Oi, stupid, you’re butchering the garlic, not mincing it. Give it to me. No. Give it here, your garlic mincing priviledges are being revoked.”

“Antonio, you bought romano cheese again. I told you to get parmesan, seriously it’s not a funny joke anymore. Yes I know it’s like my name. I’m not stupid.”

“Lovi, I think the mozzarella goes on the lasagne, not in your mouth!”

They don’t work very well together all the time, not at all, and even if Antonio buys all the ingredients listed on Nonna Vargas’ Top Secret Super Delicious Lasagne Recipe and follows those cooking channel instructions for cutting everything to a tee, Lovina will still complain that she likes the sauce with less onions and Antonia will insist it tastes better when they put more Italian sausage than ground beef and Romano will still let everyone know that sure, canned crushed tomatoes are okay if you don’t care about how anything tastes and Antonio stop eating all the romano in an obscene manner it’s not funny anymore.

Whether the sauce is too onion-y, the sausage to beef ratio is off, the tomatoes aren’t as fresh as they could be, or there’s a romano cheese shaped hole in the wall from where somebody decided to throw it, Antonio still thinks that when they work together, they make the best tasting food there is, because it’s always made with lots and lots of love.

Title: First Impressions
Character(s) or Pairing(s): Romano/Fem!Romano/Spain/Fem!Spain, OC kids
Rating: G
Warnings: the miracle of life
Summary: Alejandro finally gets his wish.

Slits of dark blue stare up in Alejandro's general direction and he reaches out to touch the tufts of brown hair atop his little brother's head.

"Be gentle, Alejandro," Antonia says, adjusting the baby in her arms and leaning down just a tad so that Alejandro can see better. Alejandro nods, his chatter absent for once as he pats a soft red cheek. He jumps slightly when a teeny, tiny hand steals one of his fingers and Antonia laughs, the sound a little more quiet and tired than her normal giggles. "Is he up to your standards, then?"

"I don't think he had any requirements other than 'get me a sibling', Antonia," Romano says before Alejandro can respond (not that he was going to, he's too busy seeing if his little brother can grab at all his fingers and maybe his nose too).

A flash goes off and Lovina snatches Antonio's camera away before he can take another picture. "Stop taking pictures of me and Romano stupid, I thought you brought that to take pictures of Celio?"

"I did!" Antonio takes the camera back and the flashes are once again going off in quick sucession. "But we need pictures of his parents being so happy to see him too!" He must realise that nobody's taken any pictures of him yet, because Antonio quickly turns the camera around and snaps a quick shot of himself, a broad grin on his face despite the fact that it's 6 am and they've all been up the whole night.

"Did you get a shot of Romano fainting?"

"I didn't faint. You fainted. You're crazy."

"Babbo just needed to lay on the floor for a minute," Alejandro pipes up for the first time that morning, climbing onto the bed and snuggling up against Antonia and Celio. "It was sleep time."

"Exactly," Romano responds, running a hand through Alejandro's hair when he starts yawning and rubbing at his eyes.

Another sudden flash blinds him and a shrill cry echoes through the room in time with his and Lovina's demands for Antonio to knock this shit off, as well as the soft snores coming from Antonia and Alejandro.
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